And then there are days like today.
Days when I open my eyes and no unseen force acts against my body, making it difficult to get out of bed. I can brush my teeth without talking myself through it, "You're almost done, Chaka, you can do it." My thinking clears and my mind feels sharp, alert.
Days when I feel I have arrived at that destination called normal.
My problem at times like this is that too often I sit in a holding pattern, not trusting that this feeling will last. I hold my breath and wait for the other shoe to drop.
And the truth is...the other shoe will drop some time. Such is the nature of the beast.
But, as I remain waiting for some unexpected circumstance to rattle my susceptible psyche, I also remain outside of the will of God. As surely as the scripture that told me to "Rejoice always, Pray continually, Give thanks in all circumstances" applied in the midst of my struggles, it applies in this place of rest I find myself in today.
It's funny, but I've never thought of it that way before. In my practicality I tell myself, "It won't last, so don't get too comfortable here." In doing so, I miss the point that true joy is not tied to my circumstances, true joy is found in trusting God in all the twists and turns this journey takes me through.
Victory is not arriving at this place on the other side of depression, rather victory was found every time I remembered to thank God for the things he was doing behind the scenes that I just couldn't see. It was found every time I chose to rejoice in who God was instead of mourning that I wasn't enough. In every moment I trusted and obeyed God rather than rely on my feelings.
And today, on a normal day, I claim the same victory I had as I walked in the midst of depression. No more and no less because God is unchanging.
For those of you who've tuned into the saga of my life these past five days, I thank you for coming along and pray that my journey was useful to you in some way. I wish you His joy and His peace as you continue to navigate your own pathway there and back again.
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV).